Like many others I set up New Year’s resolutions and luckily I’m actually doing some of them. Now you may ask what one of the New Year’s resolution is? Two words: Krav Maga. What is Krav Maga you ask? Well, in technical terms, it is hand-to-hand combat system of the Israeli Defense Forces. The University of Utah offers evening classes in Krav Maga, so I signed up and have been taking the class for the past three weeks.
Part of me honestly didn’t know what to expect from the class. I didn’t expect my instructor who not only has a black belt but is also a 5’4″ woman. She is ridiculous in a good way.
First let me describe what you shouldn’t do when taking the class.
-When asked why you’re taking the class it might not be in good taste to state that you want to start an underground fight club. Some people will think you are serious.
-When throwing punches saying Hi-Ya is not the correct sound to make in Krav Maga.
-Don’t wear a white shirt because apparently if you bleed it will show.
-When your instructor asks for a volunteer DON’T volunteer! Despite your thinking that people will respect you for being tough and being the first to volunteer you will be embarrassed because as you are helping demonstrate a move you will end up flat on your back not knowing how you got there and you will feel winded.
-If the instructor knows your name that isn’t a good thing.
-The instructor requires crew neckline so I suggest not wearing a white men’s shirt that is too large for you that makes you look like a marshmallow. Don’t get me wrong some people would be terrified of a Krav Maga fighting marshmallow.
-Don’t look the instructor in the eye because she will come over and tell you what you’re doing wrong by pushing you to the ground because your legs aren’t in the correct position.
-Don’t cross your arms when listening to the instructor she will call you out in front of the class asking if you’re bored.
-When trying to earn the respect of classmates because you are 1 of 4 girls in a class of 30, try not to run into the person by you and then fall back on your rear.
-When the instructor states that all participants are required to have groin protection, even the girls, it is not polite to laugh because you think its a joke. Its not. Seriously, did you know that they have groin protection for women. At that point I started to get nervous.
I could give you more but it is still the 3rd week of classes and I have 10 more to go. I guess I’m going to need to change my bio to include Krav Maga-ist. So here is to hoping that the CIA will recruit me with my awesome Krav Maga skills.